Things Racing Drivers/Commentators say

so in the open cup support race, Jake Sanson (to start things off) said 'There's two people you don't want as your co-driver; your wife and your child'
followed up by saying 'I'm about to be over thrown by a baby, that's something no racing driver has ever said'

so whats the funniest thing you've heard a racing driver or commentator say?

"It is raining and the track is wet" - Murray Walker

HAHA i've never heard that one what about
'Simon, you're awefully quiet... (am I).. yeah, you sound like your from the 1980 Portuguese Gran Prix' - our own Adrian Michael Rees
i know year is probably wrong, but still laugh

^That is a terrible first corner. Anyone identify the track?

Oschersleben

"He's having a nightmare in a bubblecar"
"Ford stands for Floats on Race Day"
- Charlie Cox BTCC 1998


Awesome from Murray when mot modern commentators would apologise profusely for such terrible language.

Anything Charlie Cox says is brilliant. My role model as a commentator.

i know he's not a racer or racing commentator, but Dennis Cometti in the AFL has some of the best puns and one liners for the game its insane
for instance if someone is having an average day in front of goals it's like 'his kicking has been red hot, but that kick was simply room temperature'
or 'Scotty Cummings alone in the square, jumping up and down and waving his arms like they're playing My Sharona ...'
or something as simple as 'Farmer may have an injury to his calf ... hmmm, a farmer with a calf problem ...'
hilarious
more here: http://theblokeyshed.com/forums/showthread.php?8281-Denis-Cometti-Quotes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bg5WWdw7DTA    

"It looks like his stomach is on fire!"       

Help me Tom Cruise!



Ok not much commentary here but still, this movie's hilarious

"And the first five places are filled by five different cars."

Murray: "And there are flames coming from the back of Prost's car as he enters the swimming pool."
James: "Well, that should put them out then."

"And there's a dry line appearing in the tunnel" (pause while he realises what he's just said) "Obvious really as it has a roof"

1990: "And Senna wins the 1999 Monaco Grand Prix"

And Damon Hill is going under the drier part of the Monaco circuit, that's of course because it's got a roof"

Murray: There's a car coming into the pits now, they're so unreliable with all those electronics on board.
James: Actually, Murray, one of his wheels has just fallen off!

'and thats one of the mechanics using a feeler gauge to measure the depth of tread in the slick'.

Murray: "And another one of these gravell traps are n't slowing anybody down"
Martin: "That's because there aren't any there Murray!"

"There are 7 winners of the Monaco grand prix on the starting line today and four of them are Michael Schumacher"

"And Michael Schumacher is 37 seconds ahead, so he can refuel the car, change all four wheels, take off his helmet, have a smoke and a cup of tea, and rejoin in first."

Murray (To Damon Hil): When did you realise that you had a puncture, Damon?
Damon Hill: When my tyre went down, Murray!


As from 2020 Formula 1 has to be green!

YOU MIGHT BE A RACER IF ...

You think the primary purpose of wings is to PREVENT flight.
You take your helmet along when you go to buy new eyeglasses or check out cars.
You are happiest when your street car's tires are worn to racing depth and the wear bars are showing.
When something falls off of your car, you wonder how much weight you just saved.
You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
You bought a race car before buying a house.
You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of importance):
1) 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
2) Outside parking for 6 cars, a motor home, a crew cab dually, a 28' enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel.
3) 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
4) A grease pit.
5) Deaf neighbors.
6) Some sort of house with a working toilet & shower on the property - or - hookups for the motor home.
You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back from the machine shop.
You have enough spare parts to build another car.
More than one racer supply store recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call.
You think the last line of the Star Spangled banner is: "Racers start your engines!"
People know you by your class, car number, and car color.
You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every other week or so.
Your family brings the couch into the garage to spend time with you.
A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn."
You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work.
You always want to change something on your street car to make it handle better.
You've tried to convince your wife you needed that flow bench to fix the air filter on her station wagon.
You save broken car parts as "momentous".
You've found your lawnmower runs pretty good on 108 octane gas (but doesn't particularly care for alcohol).
The local police and state highway patrol have a picture of your car taped to their dashboard.
Instead of pictures in your wallet, you have time slips.
You quote your street tire wear life in weeks rather than miles.
After you tell your wife where you'd like to go on vacation she answers: "Why...is there a race there?"
You know at least three 1-800 numbers to aftermarket parts houses by heart.
You are on a first-name basis with owners of every local speed shop.
You want to take apart and rebuild things, even though they are not broken.
You have the monetary equivalent of a lunar rocket invested in it, but your car still won't cut a good light or run the number.
You own a vehicle that has at least 500 horsepower more than when it came out of Detroit.
You look for hi-po cars in the movies and try to guess what engine size, tire size, and whether or not it has nitrous in it.
You are the type of person who goes postal when you have to sit in a traffic jam for more than five minutes, yet you can spend five hours in the staging lanes.
Every stoplight becomes a practice tree to test your ability to tree the guy in the other lane's eyes out.
You wash your car like it was your firstborn child, you tend to its needs like it was your own body, you protect it like it's your family, then you drive it like you stole it.
You understand racing is a way of life, not just a means of transportation.


How to keep the Iceman fresh...

My favorite quote from yesterday's NASCAR race at New Hampshire:

Clint Boyer: "What happened?
Spotter:"Danica wrecked her boyfriend. I mean, took him out!!"
Clint Boyer:"Under caution??"
Spotter:"No, no. That's what this wreck was."
Clint Boyer:"...............oh boy!!!"

I've got something that was more like ,,a funny moment". Dutch commentator said ,The track temperatures will provide lot's of grip tonight' , but right after he said that, this shot was on screen:

"What is this racing thing you speak of? I wanna watch darts"
-Crofty