Re: The Hilarious Thread

by nickyf1 Mon 3 Mar 2014 - 20:53

Hahaha, that never ceases to make me laugh Razz

by **Ax4x Mikey J** Sat 8 Mar 2014 - 20:09

Since this funny as hell ad is only on in America, I thought I'd share it here:

by Ax4x Kane Sun 9 Mar 2014 - 0:49

This advert has caused uproar in Birmingham due to its terrible depiction of the Brummie accent.

I hate this advert.

by AMR of the Apex Sun 9 Mar 2014 - 1:10

If you think you got it bad.... I can't stand adverts involving people with strong or even put on welsh accents...

by Turbo Power 77 Sun 9 Mar 2014 - 1:39

Kilroy8 wrote:This advert has caused uproar in Birmingham due to its terrible depiction of the Brummie accent.

I hate this advert.

That advert drives me absolutely nuts Evil or Very Mad

by Ax4x Kane Sun 9 Mar 2014 - 23:15

I really don't know where to put this. I was shown this today at work & I...I...just can't. What?

by BaronGreenbacke Thu 13 Mar 2014 - 21:14

Thanks to our colleagues in the insurance industry for these hilarious real statements from car insurance claim forms.

Incidents with Pedestrians.

The pedestrian ran for the pavement, but I got him.
The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve a number of times before I hit him.
I was sure the old fellow would never make it to the other side of the road when I struck him.
To avoid hitting the bumper of the car in front I struck a pedestrian.
The pedestrian had no idea which way to run so I ran over him.
The car in front hit the pedestrian but he got up so I hit him again.
I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.
A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.
I saw her look at me twice. She appeared to be making slow progress when I hit her

Accidents with other vehicles.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way.
A truck backed through my windshield into my wife's face.
The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention.
My car was legally parked as it backed into another vehicle.
When I saw I could not avoid a collision I stepped on the gas and crashed into the other car.
I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought.
The accident occurred when I was attempting to bring my car out of a skid by steering it into the other vehicle.
I was backing my car out of the driveway in the usual manner, when it was struck by the other car in the same place it had been struck several times before.
I was unable to stop in time and my car crashed into the other vehicle. The driver and passengers then left immediately for a vacation with injuries.The gentleman behind me struck me on the backside. He then went to rest in a bush with just his rear end showing.
The car in front of me stopped for a yellow light, so I had no choice but to hit him.

Collisions, calamities, and injuries.

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.
I told the police that I was not injured, but on removing my hat found that I had a fractured skull.
I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law and headed over the embankment.
I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.
As I approached an intersection a sign suddenly appeared in a place where no stop sign had ever appeared before. I was unable to stop in time to avoid the accident.
In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole.
I saw two kangaroos having it off in the middle of the road. So I hit them, which caused me to ejaculate through the sunroof.
I was thrown from my car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows.
The telephone pole was approaching. I was attempting to swerve out of the way when I struck the front end.
I pulled in to the side of the road because there was smoke coming from under the hood. I realized there was a fire in the engine, so I took my dog and smothered it with a blanket.Who is to Blame?

No one was to blame for the accident but it would never have happened if the other driver had been alert.
I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight.
I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up, obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car.
The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control.
I was on the way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident.
The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.
Windshield broke. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo.
I had been learning to drive with power steering. I turned the wheel to what I thought was enough and found myself in a different direction going the opposite way.
The accident happened when the right front door of a car came round the corner without giving a signal.
I had been driving for forty years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident.
I left for work this morning at 7am as usual when I collided straight into a bus. The bus was 5 minutes early.
An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished.
The accident happened because I had one eye on the truck in front, one eye on the pedestrian, and the other on the car behind.
I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard.

by BaronGreenbacke Thu 13 Mar 2014 - 21:16

0 to 200 in 6 seconds
Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

by LMR Zakspeed Thu 20 Mar 2014 - 19:14

by Ax4x Kane Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 1:36

I wonder how many Man Utd, Cardiff or West Brom fans we have here Razz

http://www.mirror.co.uk/sport/football/news/manchester-united-fans-invited-trade-3287357

by Standaman94 Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 22:50

Anyone know what car this is? I want one Very Happy

by ShrinkingSteven Thu 27 Mar 2014 - 23:07

Sounds like a WW1 fighter plane at some points lol

by AMR of the Apex Fri 28 Mar 2014 - 2:00

Until Red Bull win their appeal, May I present the funniest joke I will ever tell:

Q: What do you call an Australian on the podium at the Melbourne GP

A: One of the Grid Girls
— Adrian Michael Rees (@ADx_Wales) March 28, 2014

by Standaman94 Fri 4 Apr 2014 - 15:18

This was rather amusing

by Turbo Power 77 Wed 16 Apr 2014 - 13:50

Skip to 2:15 for some Forza style physics Very Happy

by AMR of the Apex Tue 22 Apr 2014 - 11:58

by **Ax4x Mikey J** Sat 26 Apr 2014 - 18:42

http://www.buzzfeed.com/tomphillips/the-stereotype-map-of-every-us-state-according-to-british-pe

Actually rather accurate... where I live is really all Hipsters, craft beer and weed farms, and not far from a bit annoying.

by LMR Sahara Wed 30 Apr 2014 - 5:51

So I dont know if this is a bit off topic, but here I go.

If you could pick 3 other people off of TORA you would have in your car to go on a road trip in real life, who would they be?

by ll Taku ll Thu 8 May 2014 - 2:55

Scored this messed up goal in pro clubs earlier Very Happy

by Turbo Power 77 Mon 12 May 2014 - 0:35

Never laughed so much in my life! Very Happy

by LMR Zakspeed Fri 16 May 2014 - 23:04

by Standaman94 Sat 24 May 2014 - 17:40

by F4H Lotterer Sat 31 May 2014 - 16:20

Village People with Trash POW

The Hilarious Thread - Page 35 27294249d1335784672-rescuebots-homage-village-people-r6377-trash-disco

by Duke of Bruno Tue 3 Jun 2014 - 15:22

S2000 guy won’t shut up about S2000s
Posted in News by Sniff Petrol on Friday, May 30th, 2014

Two years after buying a Honda S2000, 33-year-old IT manager Breverton Smee still won’t shut up about Honda S2000s, colleagues reported this week.

‘It doesn’t matter what the situation, somehow he manages to make it about S2000s,’ sighed work mate Manton Gull. ‘When it’s sunny, he says it’s good S2000 weather. When it’s raining, he tells everyone he “better be careful with those 240 horses”. The other day someone mentioned the Sugababes and he immediately said “There’s three of them, they’d be stuck if they all wanted to travel in an S2000, which is of course a highly focussed two seater”. There is literally no conversation he can’t make about Honda [Censored] S2000s.’

‘This is beyond an obsession,’ added colleague Janiz Cress. ‘Every time the coffee machine in the office kitchen starts whirring he says “VTEC’s kicked in! Just like on an S2000″. The guy’s an idiot. I mean, what sort of grown man has a picture of their own car on their computer and phone and T-shirt?’

Sources say that Smee has several nicknames for his bright yellow Honda include ‘The S2K’, ‘The Stook’ and ‘The Love Banana… although of course the S2000 actually has excellent torsional rigidity’.

‘The other day I even heard him call it “The Japanese Ferrari”,’ Mr Gull noted. ‘Although as unbelievable bores go, it could be worse. He could own an actual Ferrari.’

http://sniffpetrol.com/

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